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You have no idea what I’ve been through in my life. I had the ORIGINAL GameBoy Advance. That shit had no light and I had to find the perfectly lit room. You don’t know what I come from.
Can I get an AMEN?!
(via lestacy)
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I am* stressing out so hardcore I’m giving myself ibs.
FML.
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Art show is today. I’m running on 4 hours of sleep. I can’t get back to sleep which means by 7pm tonight when the doors open I’m gonna be a complete mess. FML!!!!
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I love this damned picture. I took it a few years ago with my cell phone. it’s got that creepy alice in wonderland feel with the giant passion flower right up front. i’m displaying this shot tomorrow at the art show. wish me luck! it’s the first time my photography will be shown in public, in print. :D
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Every time I drive out of a drive thru, I consider it the drive of shame.
– moi. damned foodycalls. -
The speeding bladder incident
Gather around kids I have a story to tell about how yas just dodged a ticket!
Spent the entire evening with friends and finally decided to go home as I’m falling alseep on the couch! No booze drinking was involved tonight. I did however have 32 oz of iced tea and a 44 oz cherry limeade!
I start driving home only to feel like I’m about to pee my pants! all of a sudden all 78 ounces of liquid I had consumed wanted to evacuate all at once!
I’m naturally an aggressive driver. I admit it. I drive fast, bbut tonight I wasn’t even paying attention as my goal was to not pee in my damned car! That’s when the lights flicker on behind me.
Sonofa bitch I’m being pulled over. I haven’t had a ticket in 7 years. And of all the times I have sped on the road tonight I’m fucking being pulled over!
“what’s your hurry tonight, miss?” the cop asks
“I’m so sorry but really need to use the bathroom!”
The cop sticks his head into my window (thank Jeebus my phone wasn’t out) “I’m gonna need to see your license. You see you were going just over 65 in a 45 zone”
Holy shit that’s a felony. I try not to cry. “oh my god I am sooooo sorry but I really need to pee like right now.” he stares at me. I’m whimpering as my bladder is one light cough away from peeing all over my front seat in front of a damned police officer.
He calls my license in, fights with the dispatcher over my super ethnic name, then walks back to the car. I’m now officially dancing in my seat contemplating getting arrested for running to the ampm across the way to pee.
2 minutes later (I was watching my clock like a psycho while doing the peepee dance) he hands me my license.
“slow down, be careful and I hope you make it home.”
He smiles and lets me go.
I get home and barely make it to the bathroom to pee and Austin powers quality experience.
Thanks Mr. Police man for not taking me to jail on felony wreckless driving charges. I would have peed in the back of your cruiser and then cried like a baby.
My dignity thanks you. My bladder however, hates your face.
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I don’t cheat on girls but I cheat on my meals.
Breakin meals hearts!
